Just A Thought
So, I think I may know why I have insomnia. At least, I partially know why.
Partly I think it's my need to be doing something. Even when I'm being a lazy do-nothing, I'm still getting something done. Planning something. Talking to someone. Usually several someone's. Reading. Something mildly productive. Well, not always. But usually. I'm just restless. During the day I'm always trying to be getting something done. My weekend's are thoroughly planned out by Thursday, even if those plans will continue to change, even after they happened...
But to bring this back to insomnia, all the time I spend sleeping is time I spend not doing pretty much anything else in the world I could possibly be doing. It's lost time. I don't do it on purpose. When I lay down to try and sleep my mind just gets overloaded with everything else I could be doing at that moment, what I'd be doing the next day. Week. Month. Year. Lifetime. What death would feel like (a really common theme). How awesome it would be to be a Timelord and travel through time and space, meeting new people, growing attached, falling in love and then having them die, abandon me, have to be left behind (for their own good), get stuck in an alternate universe. The usual.
Like, even now I'm talking to several different people on several different sites, as well as texting a few people, typing this blog about how pathetic my sleeplife life is, playing a game and thinking about tomorrow night.
Now I'm basically just typing to type. Maybe waste your life a bit. That way, if you take the time to read all of what is becoming nonsense I know that your life is just as sad as mine. Let that sink in.
Partly I think it's my need to be doing something. Even when I'm being a lazy do-nothing, I'm still getting something done. Planning something. Talking to someone. Usually several someone's. Reading. Something mildly productive. Well, not always. But usually. I'm just restless. During the day I'm always trying to be getting something done. My weekend's are thoroughly planned out by Thursday, even if those plans will continue to change, even after they happened...
But to bring this back to insomnia, all the time I spend sleeping is time I spend not doing pretty much anything else in the world I could possibly be doing. It's lost time. I don't do it on purpose. When I lay down to try and sleep my mind just gets overloaded with everything else I could be doing at that moment, what I'd be doing the next day. Week. Month. Year. Lifetime. What death would feel like (a really common theme). How awesome it would be to be a Timelord and travel through time and space, meeting new people, growing attached, falling in love and then having them die, abandon me, have to be left behind (for their own good), get stuck in an alternate universe. The usual.
Like, even now I'm talking to several different people on several different sites, as well as texting a few people, typing this blog about how pathetic my sleeplife life is, playing a game and thinking about tomorrow night.
Now I'm basically just typing to type. Maybe waste your life a bit. That way, if you take the time to read all of what is becoming nonsense I know that your life is just as sad as mine. Let that sink in.
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